Culin-oscar-py's 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen.

Welcome to this year's red carpet. Yeah baby, it's shag.

Time to showcase the foods that deserve recognition, endorsements and Winston's gems.

Last year I asked for the all time greatest acceptance speeches for the food you're most grateful for.

This year...Imagine - which star, alive or dead, is sitting at your dining room table - sipping champagne - come on, I said imagine...who would it be? And what would you be making them for dinner?

A pulled pork sandwich for...?
A fruitcake for....?
A bottle of water and lettuce for...?

I dare ya...and keep it clean babes.

Culin-oscar-pys - I'm grateful...

I am grateful to cheese.
It's easy I know. But how could I pass over something I eat at least once a day?
Something that comes in so many ways, to be used in so many ways to soothe the soul. So...

Thank you cheese.

To squeaky cheese when we were kids. To grated cheddar on grilled cheese, dipped in ketchup. To pizza's stringy mozzarella. To cream cheese on Montreal bagels. To cheese fondue. To lots of practice making New York cheesecake. To ricotta cheese pancakes with lemon. To swiss cheese on a reuben. To my first warmed, runny brie. To gorgonzola on rare filet mignon.

Who could have guessed bacteria could be so clever?

Much has been written on the supporting cast of bread and wine - but I appreciate them none the less.

GK Chesterton said, "Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."

The light is blinking and the music is swelling to drown me out...

And to my Mum. For being the first cheese expert in my life. She has loved cheese her whole life as much as her hips have hated it her whole life.

...and to my future cardiologist. I'll bring the baguette.


There's always time to thank food...if you feel the need, click on the culinoscarpy's link in the right sidebar and add your speech there. Thanks to everyone who's written in...
*Oscar quiz site here
* Swiss cheese shot from here.

The Culin-Oscar-py

This is one night I wish I smoked and drank.
- Grace Kelly, 1954 Academy Awards









We've belittled, criticized, scoffed at, and been sickened by the excess of celebrity - Our first Oscar party was about foods you're ashamed of, but eat anyway - so now I've thought a twist would be useful...and maybe even inspirational to us all...the foods you're most grateful for and who introduced them to you...

This year I'm turning the Oscar party into the Culinary Oscar Party - now known as the Culinoscarpies 07. (I know that sounds like an unpleasant medical exam...but this is the country where two political parties, the conservatives and the reform party merged and no one caught their new name before it was made public...no one...caught this: the Conservative Reform Alliance Party - I'm not kidding...they pulled it within a day...)

So I'm going to invite any food blogger and reader and friend who wishes to...to write an acceptance speech - thanking whoever they like for the foods they're most grateful for. Recipes encouraged of course.

Steve has already added the first in the race for the best:

"I ate these chocolate chip cookies because, they like me...they really, really like me."

The Oscars are February 25th...

I'm tagging a few favourite people to get started, and some people I think would salivate at the thought of an acceptance speech about food: Annie, Kristen, Julie, Matt, Adam, Melissa (the first meme I replied to as a neophyte blogger), Shauna, of course Kate, and Meg (although she's on holiday this week)...You're all my daily bread (gluten free, of course, Shauna).

*The picture at the top is actually Grace Kelly in a champagne ad...how perfect! It's from here.

Snipe 'n Munch

My friend/grace Karen was “helping” me brainstorm some ideas for Foodnut last week.

She came up with this:

Cheesy Broccoli Casserole
1 pkg. (6 oz.) STOVE TOP Lower Sodium Stuffing Mix for Chicken
2 pkg. (10 oz. each) frozen broccoli florets, thawed, drained
1 can (10-3/4 oz.) 98% fat-free condensed cream of mushroom soup
1 cup CHEEZ WHIZ Light Reduced Fat Cheese Dip
PREHEAT oven to 350°F. Prepare stuffing mix as directed on package, using only 3 Tbsp. margarine. Set aside. MIX remaining ingredients in 2-qt. baking dish; top with stuffing. BAKE 30 min. or until heated through.

Which she followed up with:

Home made Cheese Whiz
1 pound processed cheese, cut into small pieces
13 ounces can evaporated milk
4 tablespoons margarine
1 teaspoon salt Dash of Tabasco sauce
1 teaspoon dry mustard

Melt all ingredients in heavy saucepan or double boiler over medium heat. Pour into containers; let cool. Use on crackers or in recipes calling for Cheez Whiz. This recipe for Cheez Whiz serves/makes 1 lb.

Now, as far off the mark as this may seem from my usual search for food and meaning, it inspired me to write about our annual Snipe ‘n Munch. Because, the World Series is 'round the corner.

To be technical, we came up with the annual Snipe 'n Munch as a celebration of the Oscars. Actually, more of a celebrity roast of the Oscars.

And okay, we’ve only held one annual Snipe 'n Munch because we were away during this year’s Oscars (discovering ahi sandwiches in Costa Rica). But we adapted by throwing a Superbowl version before we left. We called it the Scratch ‘n Sniff.

I was going to wait until the red tide of Oscar fever came around again to write about it, but I’m feeling the need for another fall off the wagon.

Our Snipe ‘n Munch was born in the Canadian winter. We needed two things: junk food - fat and sugar - and the like-minded to bond with - over fat and sugar.

It was a reverence-free zone. Bitching at the television was mandatory (no kids allowed). Nothing beat our scrutiny – dresses, speeches, tuxes, haircuts, speeches, cleavage, speeches, and what people said.

So the snipe was obvious and abundant – but the munch was art.

We asked everyone to bring the food they’re most ashamed of.

The enthusiasm was frightening.

All these people we know and love, who are healthy eaters, came out of the pantry.

• Cheezwhiz on celery
• Cinnamon rolls - packaged
• Alpha Bits as appetizers
• Cheezies of course – have you ever set them on fire? Don’t think about that too much.
• Chips and dip brought up the rear, if you’ll pardon the expression.
• Jain and Andy brought the Bugles.
• Naomi was eclectic: she brought store-made mini cupcakes with that creepy icing and sprinkles on top (chocolate and vanilla), lime chips, and a jar of gherkins.
• Karen well, it defies the senses, almost. She made Monkey Bread. She brought Pillsbury dough cylinders, exploded them open, ripped them into chunks, piled them into a pyramid, drizzled it all with a mixture of butter, brown sugar and cinnamon and baked it. It came out looking like a volcano with lumpy cinnamon lava. I’ve been near a few active volcanoes…they didn’t smell like that.
• The pigs in a blanket came with Nic and JP - cocktail wieners, a slice of processed cheese, wrapped in a Pillsbury crescent roll and baked. Once you have the doughboy in the oven, you’re done for. Those things came out on a plate and were devoured like the tide takes a sand castle.

Almost no one let us down – except Carol who brought an extremely healthy layered veggie dip – which she defended by saying it had sour cream in it. We devoured it…but we sniped.

There was no stopping us. There was freedom in the license to eat it all. Hedonism. Pure and simple - probably hydrogenated.

We didn't care. We needed communion and comfort food in the Canadian winter. And we’ll obviously do anything to secure both. We were giddy with power - and sugar and fat.

No, there were no leftovers. And no, I can't remember who won a thing. But then, that wasn't the point.

Then this year, we planned the Scratch 'n Sniff for Super Bowl XL. And we were dwarfed, diminished, jennycraiged. This press release came through with a mere 3 days, 3 hours and 24 minutes left on the countdown-to-kickoff clock for the Super Bowl last January.

Yes there is a countdown clock on the Super Bowl website – it’s at 110 days right now. But maybe that's a lifespan clock.

The “Snack Food Association” and “Calorie Control Council” – they work together? can you imagine the meetings? – released some gargantuan facts:

Americans eat 30 million pounds of snacks on Super Bowl Sunday

· 11.2 million pounds of potato chips
· 8.2 million pounds of tortilla chips
· 4.3 million pounds of pretzels
· 3.8 million pounds of popcorn
· 2.5 million pounds of nuts

The average armchair quarterback will consume 1,200 calories and 50 grams of fat just from snacking (not counting any meals).

The potato chips alone will account for 27 billion calories and 1.8 billion grams of fat – which is the same as 4 million pounds of fat. That’s the equivalent of 13,000 National Football League (NFL) offensive linemen at 300 pounds each.

Who can compete with that? You Americans have to win at everything. Pass the dip.